I finally had it with the saying, “It’s almost as good as sliced bread.” Sliced bread isn’t that good. This guy agrees.

My memories go back to when I was 4 years old. I don’t remember before that but even at 4, sliced bread disappointed me. I remember those summer barbecues when I could first remember the smell of fresh grilled hotdogs. Not exactly nature’s food but we all love a grilled hotdog. Those hot dog buns were pretty good too. Then you run out of the hot dog buns and substitute it for sliced bread and what do you get, one fu%^&cken disappointment. In fact, I threw the bread on Grandpa’s lawn.

Even when I get some good roast beef and need to make a sandwich, the stupid sliced bread ruins even the world’s best roast beef with out some sort of condiments. Take the bread away and I can eat the roast beef. No mustard, no mayo NADA.

I never hated sliced bread until Dr. Atkins came along. Atkins told me that white bread is bad carbs and that 1 slice of white bread has 15 carbs. In the end, I think there’s many things better than sliced bread,

Sex, Cold Beer, Cigars, Stock Market, My wife, Kids and much more.

 From this day on, I’m changing. Let’s all cheer for the next great saying.

 ”This almost sucks as much as sliced bread“

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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